so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Randomize
