my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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