I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
