When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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