physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Never underestimate the power of titties
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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