Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
