i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
