If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
