My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
