So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
