I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
