My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Banned from zoo.
Again?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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