Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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