i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize