I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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