Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
