therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
