My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
