I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
