Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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