you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
