I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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