why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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