Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
