she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We need a shit load of segways right now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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