For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
