Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need to sanitize my soul.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
