Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
