never play flip cup with pint glasses
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
