True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
