I wish I could punch you in the face.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
