i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No more Irish car bombs ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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