but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
