Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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