420 ftw
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My bed smells like the plague
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
