The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
