Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
