He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
