Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
