Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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