Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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