why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
