I've blown a few things in my day
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
