Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
