The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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