so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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