We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
