I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
