He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Come see our sink grown plant.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize