if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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