considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Threesome in a minivan. New low
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Randomize
