I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
