Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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