I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize