Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
