His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize