If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
