Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
