party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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