At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
