I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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